Enter the world of soulful entrepreneurship...
Enter the world of soulful entrepreneurship...
As I entered more deeply into the online business world... I felt like I was going from one rat-race to another...
The ever-growing world of wellbeing... healing... coaching...
I felt so fortunate at times... after a lifetime of feeling caged, restricted and disconnected... and after embarking on my personal self-discovery journey in 2015...
2020 landed... my first taste of coaching... and the birth of my first business... and I started to feel like a kid in a sweet shop!
So... many courses...
So... many certifications...
So... many retreats...
So... many healing modalities...
The sweet shop quickly became a supermarket of endless consumption, comparison, overnight transformation healing, endless striving for the next experience, the next modality, the next certification... the next fix.
The healing world than seemed to quickly become less about what it had meant to me from deep in my tender heart...
To more about Instagram... keeping up... 'levelling up'... and striving for the next trend... the next strategy... the next hot topic... the next 'offering...' to reach for that impact that everyone else 'appeared' to be having.
I was beginning to question what I was doing here in the first place... and starting to abandon myself all over again...
In Summer 2021... a year after starting my first business alongside my demanding career...
I realised....
I wasn't embodying my business.
I wasn't embodying my vision.
I wasn't leading from the heart.
I was starting to make my business,
my personal brand,
the source of my self-worth.
Sourcing my validation with every 'like' or 'comment'.
Sourcing my joy with every new 'sign-up'.
Sourcing my motivation with every new piece of positive 'feedback'.
Even sourcing my desires for connection, community, creativity, sisterhood with every new 'paying client'.
I realised... I was creating my business as a means of filling a hole... an empty space within myself.
I wasn't embodying my business... because my business was merely an attempt to source my own inner worth, happiness, confidence and fulfilment from the outside world.
With every tumble weed that went on by after each post that didn't quite 'land...'
With every passionate offering I shared that didn't receive any sign-ups...
With every paying 'client' that came toward the end of her time with me...
I realised that this was not the way that I wanted to birth my business... this was not the place I wanted to lead and share my offerings from...
Searching...
Seeking...
Waiting...
Checking...
Double checking...
Anticipating...
Questioning...
Doubting...
Convincing...
Grasping...
Collapsing...
Fearing...
...what will others think...
...is this going to work... what will happen to my business if it doesn't...
...what will happen to me...
I was placing my worth, my happiness, fulfilment and my inner peace into the hands of my business and therefore, into the hands of everything that was receiving (or not receiving) it...
I made the difficult decision to take a complete step back from my clients, my offerings, my business, my vision... in 2021.
I knew that deep down, I wanted to breathe my offerings... my contributions... into the world from a place of...
Fullness...
Compassion...
Conviction...
Steadiness...
Acceptance...
Integrity...
Confidence...
Faith...
Sustainability...
Softness...
Empowerment...
Liberation...
Surrender...
Trust...
Deep Fierce Love...
I knew that when I returned to my vision...
I wanted to feel like the LIVING, BREATHING, EMBODIMENT of who I am here to be, of what I am here to offer and contribute to this world.
A part of me knew that I was worthy of receiving all of the things I was desiring... regardless of the outcome of my business...
Head on over to the next blog post where I share with you what happened when I decided to go ALL IN on becoming the LIVING, BREATHING, EMBODIMENT of my heart-led vision....
